Washington Redskins to Change Name?

Same story; new year for the Washington Redskins and the calls by some groups and congress for the team to change its name.

 

Now I'm not going to get into whether Dan Snyder should change the name. I personally believe that it's his team and if he wanted to call them the "Moonbeams" or "Clowns" he should be able to. It's not that I am unsympathetic to those who find the name "Redskins" derogatory, but rather liken it to the classic George Carlin attitude of if you don't like what you hear on the radio or see on the television, instead of forcing a change on everyone, why don't you just use the dial and change the station? But perhaps my example here is poor and doesn't convey the point properly.

 

Regardless, I don't want to get into that aspect of the debate. Rather, I would like to offer up some new names for a Washington D.C. based NFL team. Names that are synonymous with what good old D.C. is all about. Here are some to be considered:

 

Washington Liars

Washington D.C. is the home to some of the most adept liars in all the United States. Congress and the White House are full of them. Corporate lobbyists tell them daily to push their own agenda. I don't know the numbers, but I would bet that D.C. boasts more lawyers per person than any other place in the world. I think "Liars" would be an appropriate name. Not sure Daniel Snyder would like to have his NFL team identified with the name, but it certainly would be a name that represents the city. Just being honest. For the logo you could have a face on the side of the helmet giving you the eye wink while you see a wad of cash being put into a hand behind the figure's back.

 

Washington Lobbyists

If lawyers aren't the majority of the population of D.C., lobbyists must be. Not sure you could take a tour of the White House or Capitol Hill without tripping over half a dozen or so. And the reason is because there are lobbyists for everything. From big types of lobbyists (oil companies, gun enthusiasts, anti-gun rights, etc) to those lobbying for grants to be given to those who make "art" out of dog poo on the sidewalk and demand it be displayed publicly. Besides, at its baseness, isn't a competition between two sides (even a sporting competition) nothing more than a big lobbying party to determine which side can get its way? The logo can be a two small dollar sign's ($) with a third big dollar sign in between them.

 

Washington Georges

Just envision every fan coming thru the gate being given a mask of the first President of the United States on game day. Imagine being the opposing team and looking into the stands and seeing nothing but row upon row of nearly 80,000 George Washington's rabidly cheering against you. The effect would be demoralizing to know the Father of our Country (all 80,000 of him) want you to lose. The logo could be the historic painting of George Washington crossing the Delaware. Could you get more patriotic or use a more beloved figure?

 

Washington Warriors

After all, D.C. is the home to the Pentagon. And besides, you could have all sorts of different uniform designs for marketing purposes. You could conceivably keep the current color scheme and Indian logo as one type of "warrior". Then you could have several other types of "warriors" to increase the potential of sales to collectors who, like Pokémon masters, have to have them all. You could have a design for Ninja's, another for Samurai, one for each branch of the U.S. armed forces. Consult the Deadliest Warrior TV show for more ideas. The different jersey styles all selling at the same time tripling the current revenue generated, and at the same time, not getting rid of the current logo. Can you see the dollar signs Dan Snyder? Can you??

 

Washington Wackos

Really, does this name need to be explained after some of the whacked laws, bills, and judgments we have seen come out of D.C.? Just get an agreement with Warner Brothers and put a picture of the Animaniacs on the side of the helmet.

 

If you saw a name you liked, speak up and say so! Didn't see one you liked or think you have one that is better? Share it by leaving a reply!